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Paul's Monologue
from
When it Rains Gasoline
by
Jason D. Martin
When it Rains Gasoline is a dark piece about the reality of being a high school student
in the world today.  There are some kids who don't fit in; some kids who have been
abused so badly that rage seems to be their only way out.  Paul is one of these kids.  
The following monologue is done as a direct address to the audience.
PAUL
I get along with pretty much all the kids.  I know there are a lot of girls that really like
me, they're just shy.  I'm kinda' shy too.  I know what they're going through.  I don't
expect them to jump out and tell me how they feel, especially with Chris and...  Well,
you know.  This one group of girls...  Really popular girls, invited me to a party.  I got all
dressed up.  I was the only boy there.  We played a game where they giggled and
dared each other to kiss me.  None did...  I'm sure they were just shy.  I...  I can really
get people to laugh when I do things sometimes.  I'm...  I'm not really sure what those
things are.  I mean, I get up from eating lunch and a whole group of kids at the next
table starts to laugh.  I've thought about becoming a comedian...  Especially since I'm
so good at making people laugh.  Chris and Angus and...  I don't like making those
guys laugh.  Not really.  Sometimes they're...  I...  It's not fun to make them laugh,
they...  (
A painful pregnant pause.) Sometimes I wish that their little hearts would just
freeze.  I have fantasies about that.  Sometimes in my dreams I see people like Chris
choking on something.  He's motioning for me to help him.  He wants me to give him
the Hiemlick maneuver or something, but I just stand there.  I watch him fall to his
knees holding his throat...  His face turning blue.  For some reason blood starts to
come out of his nose and ears.  His eyes pop out and blood starts to come from there
too.  The whole time I know I can save him, but I don't do anything.  I watch him
die.  He's lying there not moving, not doing anything.  Suddenly his skin splits open.  I
expect to see muscles and bones, but...  Instead, maggots and spiders and worms
start to crawl out of his ravaged body.  Then I know what he was...  Nothing.  He wasn't
worth anything to anyone but insects and maggots.  Sometimes I think about ending
it.  It would be so easy to make a statement, to show the world that people like me
aren't going to take it anymore.  Put a gun to his head...  Pull the trigger...  See if I'm
right about his insides.