Speaking Chick
by
Jason D. Martin
Opening Scene
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(At rise, two teenage boys are discovered trying to pick up girls at the mall.)
MITCH:
So anyway, after I won the national science convention, I had colleges looking at my work from
everywhere. Do you like science?
GIRL#1:
Ah like no...
MITCH:
Oh... Oh... How about poetry?
GIRL#1:
Sometimes.
MITCH:
Do you like Shakespeare?
GIRL#1:
Who wrote it?
MITCH:
I guess not.
GIRL#1:
I don't know if I like, want my friends to see me with you.
MITCH:
Oh.
GIRL#1:
Bye.
MITCH:
Bye.
(She exits. A young man who witnessed the whole scene approaches.)
ED:
Man, did you get dissed!
MITCH:
Shut up.
ED:
Squashed like a bug.
MITCH:
She didn't even know who Shakespeare was. She wasn't smart enough for me anyway.
ED:
Yeah, right... With a bod like that? Whatever.
MITCH:
I don't like this. I wanna' go home and watch the sci fi channel.
ED:
Okay. Okay. We will, but ya' gotta' try it at least one more time.
(Ed points to a girl walking through the mall. She is very pretty.)
MITCH:
She won't go out with me.
ED:
You don't know until you try... Tell her you speak French. Women love that.
MITCH:
I don't speak French.
ED:
It doesn't matter. Tell her. She'll love it. Go.
(Ed pushes Mitch toward the girl, then backs away to watch. Mitch looks at Ed for a moment and
then approaches the girl.)