Welcome to the works of Jason D. Martin
|I'd Save You From Sand Monsters for a Date Monologue
Jason D. Martin
Timmy is a very nerdy teenage boy. Kathy, the girl he's interested in,
thinks he's cute anyway. Indeed, she thinks his social awkwardness is
charming. In this short monologue, Timmy finally builds up the courage
to ask Kathy out.
Can I just... You know... Can I just tell you... Tell you something...? I...
I have a secret... I always... You know, since like fourth grade... I
always liked you. I... I always thought that if... You know... If a bus
was speeding down the road. I always thought I'd push you out of the
way. You know, if you were... If you were in front of it and stuff. Then,
then, you'd know. If we were on a plane and... And it was gonna'
crash... And... And if everyone was screaming... And... And if there
was like only one parachute. I'd... I'd totally give you the parachute.
That way... Uh... That way, you'd know. If we were on the Planet of the
Apes and... And we were the... You know... The only two humans left
in the world... If we were the only ones left., I'd... I'd protect you from
the apes. And I'd protect you... You know from any sand monsters or
wizards or you know... I'd protect you from like giant radioactive spiders
and stuff. So I guess... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Can I... Can I
take you... Can I take you out to get some Coldstone or something...?
(Kathy nods "Yes") Cool. I'll call my mom and see if she can give us a